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You know, as I type this, it is September of 1999. Sept-f---ing-tember of 1999.
And as I watch my good ol fashioned Emerson TV
I see, George W Bush, talking about how he's going to reform the country if elected president.
Let me reiterate, it's Sept-f---ing-tember
Of 1999
And, for those of you who are totally retarded, or are from another country.
The presidential elections arent until November
Of the year 2000
So, with 14 months left to think about who to vote for. These rich bastards are deciding to waste my time, and their money to tell me what they're going to do.
Now me. I couldn't give a rats ass. I vote for who I vote for based on one thing.
The Physical Challenge.
Now, I want to see George W Bush, take on Al (Insert Middle initial here) Gore in the joust.
Of course, that will never happen, but a guy can dream.
Speaking of dreams.
I want to tell you all now, a few people who I would like to see president, and why.
Pamela Anderson Lee
Let's be honest, if anyone should be a woman president, it should be our symbol of cosmetic surgery.
Can you imagine how many world leaders will want to have a summit meeting with this babe.
If she were president, I'd actually watch the State Of The Union Address
Don King
A man, who rigs a boxing match, and comes out clean, has to be a big enough crook to be able to run our country well. Besides, Don Kings mixed up diatribe and coked out speeches are way more entertaining to me than Bill Clinton's "I didn't f--- her, well maybe I did afterall" sort of speeches
Heidi Klum:
Refer to Pamela Anderson Lee.
William Shatner
Now come on, don't tell me you've never imagined Captain Kirk as the president of the united states.
I know I have, over and over again.
Leonard Nimoy would make a great Vice President, but we'll have to settle for Walter Koenig as the Secretary of State since DeForest "Dammit Jim" Kelley kicked the bucket
Heather Locklear
Refer to Pamela Anderson Lee.
One more thing about the presidential elections that bother me.
Steve Forbes.
Well folks, that ends the first edition of TAKE THAT.
Expect more angry diatribes from me in the weeks to come